Watch Your Mouth (Continued)
Proverbs 18:6-8, 17, 21 & Ephesians 4:29-30
Okay, so we started this series last week called “Don’t Be a Fool!” It’s a series based on the contrast in God’s Word between wisdom – what we think of “the good”, with foolishness – “the bad”.Last week’s message centered on listening before we speak, or take action, or let our thoughts loose – listen first.
And if you are like me last week’s message could have been called STOP being a fool! Don’t is a warning, STOP is a correction.
Last week’s message was a correction for me and I can safely say I wasn’t alone based on some of the responses that I’ve gotten.
Like me, some of you have opened your mouth long before you should have. And like me, you have had a problem listening to other people and that may have gotten you into some trouble once or twice in your life, just like me.
And if you remember, last week, we looked at how NOT listening to other people’s words can hurt our understanding with one another.
But even more importantly, when we don’t listen to God, as He has revealed Himself to us in the Scriptures, that can devastate or at the very least hinder our vertical relationship with our Father in Heaven.
And before we go on tonight I want to reiterate a point I want to make it clear, that we are contrasting wisdom – the good, with foolishness – the bad.
And we are spending most of our time in this series unpacking verses from Proverbs, which is a “Wisdom” book in the Bible. But, I don’t want you to simply see these as fortune cookie sayings that you can toss in the trash later on, and I don’t want any of us to think that this is simply a self-help, make my life easier, series.
At the base level, this series is about who God is: That He is the author of all truth and wisdom.
Who we are: Usually fools, but wise when we listen to Him and follow His design.
What our relationship is: God showers us with Love, even though we have been fools, even though some of us maybe are fools now, and even though we will all likely be foolish again.
Our relationship is such, in this broken world, that we have to continually turn away from our foolish – and many times sinful ways – and turn back to the wisdom of God to guide us.
And to repent, to turn and to depend on the grace and compassion and mercy AND WISDOM of God, found through Jesus Christ – through Jesus Christ, our redeemer, who covers us with His righteousness through His work on the cross – work that was required because of our foolishness leading to sin.
Now, with that understanding, with those lenses on, with all that said, tonight’s sermon is called “Don’t Be a Fool: Watch Your Mouth” (Continued)
For tonight’s message, we’re going to read a few verses from Proverbs, then we’re going to spend most of our time in the New Testament, in Ephesians Chapter 4. We’ll read and unpack as we go…but first, Let’s pray…
Let’s take two chunks from Proverbs 18 first:
The first thing that we see here is that, while we know that words hurt the people we talk about, they are also our undoing and bring harm on us if we use our words foolishly.
The proverbs oftentimes paint these really nice pictures that we can use to keep these in our minds. It is very good for me, that's the way that I learn, that's how my mind is wired. Here’s how we can see Verse six. These are how I picture it.
First, the writer tells us that foolish words don’t come to the table alone, he tells us that there’s a combination platter here.
You tell the waiter, I want to have fool’s lips, that is I want to speak foolishly, I want to talk before I listen, I want to gossip, I want to tear people, (my friends and family, and co-workers and boss and landlord) and organizations down (the company I work for, the banks, the government systems {local and state and national}), I want to tear those things down with my words, I want to be the one who always shares his opinion – I want the fool’s lips please.
And the waiter in this little word picture says very good, sir. That selection comes with a free side of strife. With those foolish words you also get a heaping of arguments, hurt feelings, avoidance or isolation from loved ones. No substitutions.
I'm not going to paint a word picture for a fool's lips inviting a beating, we get that right? Some of us have gotten that in a tangible way. Let's move on...
Moving now to verse 7 we see that:
Now, in the Hebrew, undoing is Ma-hetta. Another word could be destruction or ruin - and we see how this works in the second part of the verse.
His lips are a snare to his soul. So, in the next word picture I want you to see the fool walking through the woods - and see it like a cartoon, and as he speaks foolish words I want you to picture bear traps springing from his mouth and landing along his path to snap onto his ankles later on.
We do this relationally, professionally and socially all the time when we speak foolishly.
Now we’re going to dive into what foolish speaking is in a few minutes but as we’re going along, think about your history. Think about those words that you have said. When you were RIGHT, and you felt like it was your obligation to let you spouse or parent know it. (There springs a trap along your path – have you stepped into one of your own traps there?)
Or when someone was talking well of a person and you thought it was your duty to let them know all the dirt on that person and all the reasons they shouldn’t be liked or trusted or respected. (There springs a trap along your path – have you stepped into one of your own traps there? It’s always odd when someone feels the need to gossip around me. All that comes to mind is this, “They talk that way about their enemies, they talk that way about their friends, they talk that way about their family, they talk that way about the church or the people in the church, I wonder what they say when my name comes up in conversation?”)
Those are just two examples. I’m not going to ask you to come up here to the stand and tell us about your experiences, but think back to the times when you have been in the middle of the storm and said, why did I say that? What good did that do?
Now for the second chunk:
Listen, I think the best way to look at gossip is to see it as poison, when someone starts talking to you about someone who isn’t around and that talk is not complimentary, get away from that junk! Look at those words like a skull and crossbones on a bottle.
Because that talk is going to cause you to deteriorate, down in your innermost parts.
Verse 17 is brilliant. The bulk of Proverbs 18 pictures a courtroom setting and this is very clear in verse 17. But we’re not in a court of law, but think of the court of popular opinion:
I’ve been in situations where I had yet to meet a person, a new person at work or the new boyfriend or girlfriend of a relative, and before meeting that person, I was told all their dirt. Sometimes from another person who never met them before, but had just heard some things, or (this has come up a lot lately) they had checked the person’s Facebook page and formed opinions based on tiny snippets of information.
There are two sad parts to this story, first is I listened to the gossip and the slander. The writer says gossip is like choice morsels.
If someone says, “Hey I’m going to bash this person and poison your relationship before you even get introduced.” Then I’m hopefully going to say no thanks, back off.
But if they mix that poison in to something that grabs me…it’s a different story all together, right?
More often than not the gossips in my sphere of relationships begin with, “I’m worried about…” or “Hey Ken, could you pray for so and so, you know she…” or “I don’t care one way or another, but…” or “Oh? I’m glad you two met. I’m glad you get along. I used to like him until…”
And I bite, I listen and all of a sudden, usually WAY too late, I feel sick. I’ve been poisoned. That wasn’t cake! That was arsenic! And, what gets harmed by the poison? Me, the person talking the trash and the person being slandered.
And listen, no matter what I hear when the actual person shows up and presents their case; there will always be that little cloud, that residue, the lasting affects of the poison, a scar on my soul and a handicap to the relationship.
Now look again at verse 21
If this is true, and we believe it is, then there are two choices we either speak life or death. None of us seem to be consistently death speakers. And sadly, none of us are always speaking life. But ask your friends (if they’ll be honest with you) which camp you fall into.
But just as important, look back over a week or a month’s worth of conversations at work, at home, to people at church or in the coffee shops. Look back and determine what you are listening to – not just what you have said and what you are saying – but what you listen to. What kinds of words do you play the audience for? 21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
IT is the word, it brings us back to life or death, those who love life will eat it’s fruit, those who love death, will eat it’s fruit.
What are you hungry for in conversation? What satisfies you when you talk around the water cooler? Is it life?
Does hearing about the accomplishments and success of others satisfy you? Or do you want the dirt?
This is a heart issue and this is where we are going to zero in on quickly in Ephesians 4.
The fruit is what you listen to the fruit is what you say.
Those words that came most naturally from your lips this week – that’s fruit. That thing you heard and thought, “Yes! More of that, I’m hungry!”
That’s fruit, but what’s at the heart? What guides your heart? What’s at the root? Is your heart guided by the Spirit of God or by worldly wisdom and sinful desires?
We have to go where we are going. We have to! Otherwise, all we have are some really good bits of information and those little nuggets might help to really improve our morality if we apply them. I can just send you away and say Stop Talking like that! Don’t Listen To that JUNK!
The problem is that making us more moral doesn’t necessarily bring us any closer to God. So let’s push just a little bit further in to God’s Word. Turn to Ephesians 4:29-30.
Now, despite everything I just said, Paul DOES SAY “Stop talking like that!” (Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths). But, there are two very important things that you have to catch. Catch this or go home empty. Catch this or go home with a WASTED hour under your belt.
In order here, Paul says, don’t just stop talking bad, don’t just stop speaking evil and death, don’t just pour out your bucket of sin and leave it empty. Fill it back up with virtue, with righteous speech, with LIFE!
We used to tear people apart with our words. We need to empty our heart of that garbage, yes! But then what, start building people up with our words (but only {say} what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen).
Stop the slander, the gossip, the vicious sarcasm, the backhanded compliments, the outright hateful speech, and BEGIN encouraging, begin looking for and speaking about the best parts of a person, start looking for where a person might need to be built up and speak and act and live toward THAT aim, that target. And do it so that it may benefit those who listen.
It’s that last little slice of verse 29 and all of verse 30 that rips this message out of “Morality 101” and brings us to the Gospel. It’s that last slice that says, “that it may benefit those who listen” That nugget brings us out of the flesh and bone and temporal and catapults us into the spiritual realm, into the Kingdom mission for our lives.
How does it benefit the people who hear?
Simple, IF, if, if, if we do this; if we pray that God would beat this into our heads and hearts in such a way that it becomes repulsive to us when we speak or listen to death conversations. IF He will place a passion in our hearts to SPEAK LIFE about the people we love and the people the world says we should HATE, IF we start doing what God has called us to do, people will wonder why!
Why are you talking nice about him, you called him a jerk last week? Why aren’t you listening to our new dirt on her when you used to dish out the BEST dirt? What’s your problem? What’s gotten into you?
The answer is in verse 30.
Paul says don’t grieve the Holy Spirit. Don’t grieve God. Don’t break your Father’s heart.
Paul is very intentional, as he is in all of his letters to BELIEVERS. He is very intentional about reminding us about our relationship with God and our identity that that entails.
Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption
YOU – if you are a Christian – you are SEALED for the day of redemption. That means that the wrath of God will not be poured out on you because what you deserved has already been taken by Jesus. And that Means that YOU – if you are a Christ follower – you are not a slave to the patterns and demands of this world anymore.
They all talk like that, so What?! You aren’t a slave anymore. Act like the free man or free woman that you ARE – the free person that you are RIGHT NOW!
And the fact that you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit for the day of redemption means that you are empowered by God to overcome your old sin, to persevere. And you aren’t sealed and empowered just for your benefit! You have been adopted to be a beacon that shines a siren that screams out in joy about the glory of our God! You have been sealed and filled with the Holy Spirit to spread the kingdom out as a bright and shining light as an ambassador to the Kingdom.
It’s a fact.
It’s who you are.
Go LIVE it!
Let’s pray…
