There’s an old saying among addicts that, "When you're run over by a train, it's the engine that kills you, not the caboose."
In other words, if a person’s an addict, or an alcoholic, they may feel, after a time of clean living that they can handle “just one” or “just a couple” tastes.
And it may work for a moment, for a short time, but the tragedy is that those first tastes ignite a desire, a longing, a hunger for more.
Those first tastes are the engine of the train.
So what seems like innocent fun at first, what seems like something they can control, what seems like something they can keep a handle on, eventually takes ownership of their life.
The very thing that used to serve the addict or alcoholic turns the tables to where the person is serving, or doing the bidding of their addiction.
Their thoughts become focused on where’s the next taste coming from? Their relationships begin to fall away in areas that are not helping to achieve or hold onto the high.
If someone in their life makes them feel guilty about what they’re doing, they drift away from them. If someone enables their destructive behavior — that’s who they gravitate back to.
And what seemed like a few innocent hits or drinks, suddenly has them back into the downward spiral.
One man I heard once talked about his addiction to booze and said it was like dancing with a gorilla. It’s an interesting perspective and I’ll see if I can recall it properly.
He said at first it seems like a fun idea to dance with a gorilla. Maybe a little dangerous, some older people and more boring people may warn that it’s not a good idea. But oh, what a story you could have to tell the next day!
After beginning the dance all may seem to be going well. Your friends are laughing and everyone is having a good time. Even you.
But eventually your body fatigues, and you get tired from trying to follow the lead of this gorilla. Once you loose some of your strength and staying power, you just start getting drug around by the massive animal. You’re like a rag doll, flinging here to there.
The problem is, by the time you realize it’s not fun anymore you have no ability to get out of the dance.
And just like with addictive substances, the dance ain’t over until the gorilla says it’s over.
So then, the wear and tear on your body begins to show and your friends become aware that you need some help. You need someone to step in.
So, out of love and out of a desire to protect you from further harm, your friends try to break up the dance.
The problem is, the thing that happens when a person tries to cut in on a dance with a gorilla is the same thing that often happens to a person close to an addict who tries to intervene — that friend or loved one gets hurt in the process.
In the end the gorilla finishes the dance at a point that sometimes leaves you in desperate need for healing, or the gorilla dances with you until you are no more.
The gorilla, representing that addiction takes you out. Takes your life.
And again, it was that first decision to start the dance, that first decision by an addict to use or drink or whatever, that led to the tragic end.
Now again, we’re talking here about addicts and alcoholics. But, what Jesus teaches in our passage tonight and what he taught in the earlier passage about the dangers of unresolved anger is: Yes murder is terrible and will be subject to judgment, but that’s the caboose, the engine of that train, what is likely to drive you to murder is the anger. So anger is just as much of a sin.
Likewise, adultery is a sin. For sure — make no mistake, there’s no gray area. It is a sin.
But adultery is the caboose. The train is led by lust. And so Lust is the sin that you and I need to guard against.
As my old pastor in Ohio used to say, adultery doesn’t start in the bedroom it always starts in a way that seems innocent or can be explained or justified as “no big deal”.
Men, it starts in the flirtatio
us conversations with the attractive woman at work. Women, it starts with the long talks with that guy at the office that just really listens and cares about what you’re saying. Men, it starts with that second or third look at the woman on the street.In other words, adultery isn’t an accident. It’s the byproduct of lust and it starts with our words, our intentions, our eyes and ultimately our hearts.
Let’s go back to the text.
Matthew 5:27-30 (New International Version)
27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'
Here the Greek word for adultery is moicheuo : it is specific to a married person in sexual relationship outside of the marriage bond {Not porneia is another Greek term, used more broadly in the Bible for sexual immorality }
This is important, because the marriage bond is the closest thing we have on earth that represents the bond between God and His people. It’s a way He shows us the intimacy that He would have with us.
In fact, most times that the Bible talks about idolatry — or the unfaithfulness of God’s people — it is illustrated by the adultery in the marriage bond.
We talked about this a few months ago when we studied the book of Hosea.
Hosea 1:2 (NIV). When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, "Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the Lord."
(unpack)
So he says you have heard it said, do not commit adultery, don’t violate this covenant. God takes marriage very seriously and Jesus is not taking away from the depth of the sin as it relates to adultery.
But then He shows that there’s a heart issue that must also be addressed.
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
This comment serves two purposes — at least two.
First, Jesus shows us where the line in the sand actually is and second, He makes it clear that we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Because there is not a man alive who has not — at some point in his life — seen a woman, and been tempted and then taken a second or even third glance with lust in his heart.
This second part, the part of exposing our sinfulness is so important.
Remember, in this Sermon on the Mount, He began teaching only His disciples, but as He went along the crowd grew. So He was preaching to a group that likely included the Pharisees.
The Pharisees thought that since they had upheld the letter of the law, then that was their ticket to heaven. That was how they would be able to have a relationship with their Father.
And their strict adherence to the law — at least their limited understanding of it — produced in them a pride and self-righteousness that was a sin in itself.
So Jesus continues to drive home that we first must understand that we are sinners, we have to come to a place where we are poor in spirit, where we see our sin in light of His holiness and we come to an understanding that without help that sin is too much for us. That sin will lead to death and Hell without the reconciling work of a savior, who we know to be Jesus Christ.
So let’s look at the process here. Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart. In the English Standard Version the term lustfully is translated “with lustful intent” and the New King James says “to lust for her.”
So men, the accidental glimpse of a woman who is scantily clad is not the issue here. But, once we notice, our minds sometimes go to a place of temptation very quickly. Men are visually stimulated.
So, once that temptation has set in and you then take another look. You leer with an intent to lust, to lust for her, you are out of bounds. I am out of bounds. At that point Jesus says, we have already committed adultery in our heart.
And again, that in itself is sin enough for damnation if we don’t have the covering of our Savior Jesus Christ.
But what about those of us who are saved? Our sins are forgiven. We cannot be “un-saved” once we are saved. What can we glean from this text?
Well, we should practically speaking, take the warning seriously. Sexual temptation can lead to disaster. What begins in our hearts spills out. That is true with our anger and that is true with our lust.
Now, keep a mark on that page in Matthew 5 and we are going to flip back to a man who was called a man after God’s own heart, to see the disaster that starts with a lingering look of lust. Please turn with me to 2 Samuel 11
The story is about King David when He went to dance with the gorilla, it wasn’t with a drink of wine or a hit off a pipe. King David’s dance started with a second glance at a woman taking a bath.
2 Samuel 11
1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.
(Unpack: David wasn’t focused on his mission)
2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?"
(Unpack: People are telling David, “this might not be a good idea.”)
4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (She had purified herself from her uncleanness.) Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant."
(Unpack: First, “harmless” part escalates)
6 So David sent this word to Joab: "Send me Uriah the Hittite." And Joab sent him to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. 8 Then David said to Uriah, "Go down to your house and wash your feet." So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9 But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master's servants and did not go down to his house.
10 When David was told, "Uriah did not go home," he asked him, "Haven't you just come from a distance? Why didn't you go home?"
11 Uriah said to David, "The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord's men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!"
(Unpack: David’s unfaithfulness is contrasted by Uriah’s love for God and love for his neighbors.)
12 Then David said to him, "Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back." So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 At David's invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master's servants; he did not go home.
14 In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In it he wrote, "Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die."
(Unpack: David’s first sin of lust led to adultery in the heart and covetousness, then adultery in the flesh, then deception, and now leads to murder. The things that we dismiss as small sins — the ones we joke about or think aren’t that big of a deal — can lead us down roads to still more destruction.)
16 So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. 17 When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David's army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.
18 Joab sent David a full account of the battle. 19 He instructed the messenger: "When you have finished giving the king this account of the battle, 20 the king's anger may flare up, and he may ask you, 'Why did you get so close to the city to fight? Didn't you know they would shoot arrows from the wall? 21 Who killed Abimelech son of Jerub-Besheth? Didn't a woman throw an upper millstone on him from the wall, so that he died in Thebez? Why did you get so close to the wall?' If he asks you this, then say to him, 'Also, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.' "
22 The messenger set out, and when he arrived he told David everything Joab had sent him to say. 23 The messenger said to David, "The men overpowered us and came out against us in the open, but we drove them back to the entrance to the city gate. 24 Then the archers shot arrows at your servants from the wall, and some of the king's men died. Moreover, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead."
25 David told the messenger, "Say this to Joab: 'Don't let this upset you; the sword devours one as well as another. Press the attack against the city and destroy it.' Say this to encourage Joab."
(Unpack: David not only doesn't feel remorse for Uriah, he also doesn't seem to be bothered by the collateral damage, the death of the other soldiers.)
26 When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the LORD.
(Unpack: We can hide our sin away from others for a while, but not from the Lord. And, as we’ll see, God will eventually expose us.)
2 Samuel 12
1 And the LORD sent Nathan to David. He came to him and said to him, "There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had very many flocks and herds, 3 but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had bought. And he brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children. It used to eat of his morsel and drink from his cup and lie in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him. 4 Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him." 5 Then David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, "As the LORD lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, 6and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity."
7 Nathan said to David, "You are the man! Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. 8 And I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were too little, I would add to you as much more. 9 Why have you despised the word of the LORD, to do what is evil in his sight?
(Unpack: God equates the adultery to idolatry because sin is an act of rebellion. David made the conquest of Bathsheba a higher priority than devotion to the commands of God. Sex became David’s idol.)
You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.' 11 Thus says the LORD, 'Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. 12 For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.'" 13 David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD."
(Unpack: David finally sees the evil in his heart and repentant, he confesses to God)
And Nathan said to David, "The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die. 14 Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the LORD, the child who is born to you shall die." 15 Then Nathan went to his house. And the LORD afflicted the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and he became sick. 16 David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, "Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm." 19 But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" They said, "He is dead."
(Unpack: God did forgive David. David was justified by his faith in God. In the same way, if we are believers in Christ Jesus, you and I are made right with God. But, we will still deal with the consequences of our actions. In fact, there are many times when adultery causes more problems to the people on the periphery to the children of the broken homes, to the husbands and wives that have felt betrayed, to the extended friends and family, to the church as a whole, and the list goes on and on.)
Let’s finish out tonight’s section on the Sermon on the Mount back to Matthew 5:29
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Before you go out and get a spoon for you eye or a circular saw for your hand, I don’t think Jesus is literally saying pop out your eye or cut off your hand. It’s a fact that even if we went blind today, we have an adequately developed imagination and memory to dwell in lust even without either eye working.
The point I believe Jesus is making here is that we are to take this sin seriously and we are to go to any length to stay away from the sin. In
1 Corinthians 6:18-19, Paul says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own…”
So, where do you need to flee from the temptation to commit adultery, is it the internet, is it the television shows you watch, is it the places you drive, is it the people you work with? What is it for you.
Knowing the path that lust leads to, what length are you willing to go to flee the temptation to look at someone in lust? Would you get rid of your cable if you had to? Would you get accountability software for your computer if you have to? Would you stop the conversations and flirting with the coworker or even leave that job if need be to protect your heart and your marriage? What is ultimate? What is your God? Is your God the Lord, or is your God your old sin nature and your old base desires?”
In closing, remember that we are NOT the morality police. It may be possible to white knuckle your way through life and just say, I’m not going to look I’m not going to look and you can just try to go it alone. And never ask for help from the Holy Spirit or from your brothers and sisters in Christ.
But, like the Pharisees, you may get to a point where you start to feel like you are able to do it all by yourself and that may produce an arrogance that doesn’t reflect the God we serve.
The answer is that we see lust as the sin it is. And since it is sin, then out of love and gratitude for God, we should flee from sexual immorality flee from the things that might divert our gaze from Jesus Christ.
But we do it all for Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit in order that we reflect the glory back to God.
And if we fail in this, we go to God with the repentant heart that David showed us and we refocus and start progressing forward again.
I believe this is one of the most difficult and persistent battles that we face in the world. Without God it is too much for us. So we keep turning to Him keeping our focus on His will for us. We take marriage seriously as a wonderful gift and a path to praise.
Next week we will talk more on the high view of marriage that God has and whether you are married, are soon to married and even if you are single, It is an important lesson to learn.
Let’s pray…
